1 Samuel 25 ~ Learning from Abigail
Dealing with difficult people can be confusing to navigate. Sometimes all it takes is a little perspective. Our sister Abigail knows all about it. The prophet Samuel, who anointed David as the next king while he was still a lad tending sheep, had just died. All of Israel was mourning for him, and at this moment in David’s life, he is on the run from crazy king Saul who is dangerously jealous of him. He’s living the vagabond life with 600 men tagging along behind him. During their travels, David and his men run up on the homestead of wealthy Nabal. This man possessed a great amount of sheep, goats, and servants. Nabal’s character is described as harsh and badly behaved. His wife Abigail is described as beautiful and discerning. What a lovely way to be labeled!
This time of year was the laborious task of sheepshearing, which is a time of work and also festivities. I guess they need some outlet of fun to go along with the job. While David and his men were passing by the homestead, they were very kind to Nabal’s servants and even offered some form of protection for them. So these are true men of integrity. Now that everyone was friends and getting cozy, David decides to send a few of his guys to ask Nabal if he would share some food with them. It’s party time, they need some snacks! Bring on the cake and drinks! Perhaps a cookie would do. However, Nabal’s response was very salty. Me share with the likes of you? Why would I give up MY goods for a nobody like you? Whoa….hold the phone. David is not a nobody, he’s the guy who killed a giant with just a sling and a single stone when he was just a kid! There was even a song written about him and it soared to number one on every radio station in the region. Nabal was living up to his name for sure.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
David was stirred up. He was grieving the loss of a great prophet, tired from being on the run, and now he’s a little hangry. He tells every man to “strap on your swords!” because now he’s fixing to kill everyone and just take what he wants. This is not David’s character, but sometimes in a moment of stress and weakness, people often act unwise. One of Nabal’s servants hears of the threat and immediately runs to Abigail, the lady of the house. How amazing! This speaks volumes to her character. She is a woman who is trusted among her people, and apparently she has put out fires for her stubborn husband before. The servant tells Abigail that David and his men “were a wall to us in the field” and that all he asked for was food, but Nabal “is such a worthless man that one cannot speak to him”. At this moment, poo has hit the fan. The entire house of Nabal will suffer if something doesn’t happen quick.
What would you do if you were Abigail? I would probably RUN for my life! She had a decision to make. No one would blame her for grabbing the suitcase and hightailing it out of there, but she didn’t.
Without informing her husband, Abigail immediately ordered the servants to grab 200 loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep already prepared, nine quarts of parched grain, 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 cakes of figs. That is a passel of food! They load all the food up on donkeys and Abigail heads down to greet 600 angry men. Hang on fellas, she’s bringing the snacks! We see that she knows how to calm a situation. When she reaches David, she jumps off the donkey and bows herself to the ground in humility while giving this awe inspiring speech. She reminds David of who the Lord has called him to be, that this deed will be a stain on his reputation, and that the Lord will resolve the issue for him. David’s fire is extinguished and he actually agrees with Abigail. How could he not after her heartfelt words? David thanks Abigail for the snacks and gives his word that he will not harm the house of Nabal. Wow! What a lady. Abigail, one woman, changed the mind of an angry leader and stopped a small army from murdering her people with simply a kind word and a snack.
We can see more into Abigail’s character here. She is a peacemaker, a truth speaker, decisive, humble, courageous, responsible, a protector, and a servant of the Lord. Sometimes when faced with a difficult circumstance, we can easily say “how will this benefit/harm me?”, but a discerning question asks “how can I bring God glory in this situation?”. Romans 12:9-19 tells us to love genuinely, show hospitality, live peaceably, and let the Lord avenge. Abigail lived by this.
The next day Abigail reveals her heroic deed to her husband Nabal and the Bible says that he became as stone. I think he realized for the first time that David is not a man to be taken lightly. It also says that ten days later the Lord struck Nabal, and he died. Why ten days later? Perhaps the Lord was giving him a chance to do the right thing? When David heard that the Lord did indeed avenge him, he asked for Abigail’s hand in marriage. She immediately accepted and became his wife. How lovely! She traded a grumpy old grouch for the next king. But is it really lovely? Abigail was a woman of faith, but she still had to face difficult circumstances. She was now leaving a comfortable life behind her, with servants and pleasantries. She was leaving her friends and everything she knew. She was trading a life of wealth and comfort for a vagabond life with the “someday” king and 600 men. The reality of that could have been quite uncomfortable. But alas, she had faith.
Abigail was a woman of virtue who did not give way to fear. How then shall we live today in dealing with difficult people? Be rooted in the Word, trust that He is a good God, and trust that He is a good defender. Also, know that you can tame the angry with a kind word and a cookie.
Colossians 3:12-15 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, of one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
HumbleB. Pottery 